The New Normal

     When we rang in the year 2020 who would of thought just a short while later a microscopic virus would rage war on the whole world.  Suddenly the words pandemic, quarantine and social distancing become the trend.  Toilet paper and hand sanitizer become highly sought after commodities. Space was rearranged and set up to accommodate working and schooling from home. Sporting events, concerts, church, parties, vacations and other social activities cancelled.  Suddenly, almost without warning our lives changed in many ways.  A simple task of running to the store or eating out needs to be thought out and planned a bit more to not only protect you, but those you might come in contact with.  When we do have to go in public the six foot distance rule is in the front of our minds and who would of ever thought that wearing a mask into a bank or a store would be considered the polite thing to do.  In amongst all of this comes fear, stress, anxiety and uncertainty.

      

Fact is the past month lots of things have changed. I went from wondering how I could accomplish everything that was on my schedule to having it wiped clean. I do and will miss the things that were there, but I do not miss the stress that was associated with many of them. My mornings are calm and peaceful instead of frantic and frustrating.  I went from worrying about how my kids would handle quarantine life to watching them thrive.

Recently, a friend and I were talking about it and made the comment that even when this is over the world will never be the same.  I have been thinking about that statement and I realized I hope that when we win this war on COVID-19 that we as a world are not the same:

•  I hope we continue to support the small businesses and show extra appreciation to our teachers and healthcare workers. To not take our own jobs or employees for granted and treat all workers with courtesy, patience and respect.
• I hope that we will appreciate and properly care for our parks, trails, libraries and other public amenities.
• I hope that we continue to check on our neighbors, family and friends and help someone we don't know. That we will continue to pull together in our communities to fulfill needs of individuals. That little surprises left on doorsteps will become a tradition.

These are just a few of my wishes. Most of all I hope that we look out for one another, treat all with respect.  That as a whole we will be kinder, non judgmental and that there is more love in the world. 

My prayer is that when we look back on this time we will see the good things and that those will continue on.

Stay Safe

Tiffanee

  

Unshatter My Heart♥

Disclosure:  This is something I wrote over a year ago as I was challenged to put myself back into that place I was mentally when my marriage ended to let those feelings go. To be honest it was tough. It made me realize I was in a pretty dark place at that time in my life and had not even realized it. Looking back this writing assignment was worth the pain as it was therapeutic to get it out and let go. I read it now and can say I am proud of who I was back then and how far I've come since. It originally was a song, but I was told since I didn't have music to go with it that it is a poem. Because it is so personal I have debated for a long time if I should share it or not. Lately, however I've had this feeling that someone needed to hear it. So whoever you are I pray this helps in some way.

♥️

Unshatter My Heart

I feel lifeless and empty as I stare at the floor.

The pain of my shattered heart I can’t bear anymore.

The tears are long gone, the brain is foggy and thoughts unclear

I look up and wonder, who is that person I see in the mirror.

The face is so hollow, the eyes are so sad

Inside myself I begin screaming, how did you ever let things get so bad?

My heart is so shattered it feels beyond repair

Will I ever be able to love again or will I live alone in my despair?

As darkness closes in I realize I have to pick myself up and move along.

There are too many people relying on me to be strong.

With all the strength gathered I pull myself to my knees.

Praying for comfort, courage and faith to once again find me.

I pray for the strength to hold the pieces of my heart together so that someday they will stay.

The pain is not gone, but have hope it will get better each day.

Standing on my own two feet wanting courage to be able to heal.

Those tough steps will not be easy, but the path to help the wounds seal.

For this is a battle I need to fight and win.

Maybe someday love will come around and I will be ready to let it back in.

Unshatter my heart, release the pain.

Let the healing hand take over, bring sunshine instead of rain.

Unshatter my heart, let my heart start beating again.

Seal up the wounds,close the door on my past and let love back in.

Unshatter my heart give me courage and strength to see

That unshattering my heart truly begins with me.

♥ Tiffanee

How's Your Resilience Storage Supply?

     Last fall I had the opportunity to attend a training dealing with at term I was not real familiar with. I found it fascinating, but it was not until a few weeks later that I really understood the meaning . My youngest daughter was in a Cross Country race where near the finish they had to go down a short steep hill that suddenly flattened out.  She came running past us at full speed and down that hill.  All of a sudden she went down, smacking her head on the ground and scraping up her back pretty good.  Somehow, she immediately got back up and ran to the finish line.  Everyone who watched it happen was in awe!  She could of easily just laid on the ground and nursed her wounds and no one would of thought anything of it, instead she rolled back on to her feet and finished what she started. She taught me a lesson that day about how important it is to have the ability to bounce back when faced with adversity and keep going when thing get tough.  This ability is known as "resilience". 
     Resilience is the ability to roll with the flow. When adversity, stress or traumatic events happen, you still experience the anger, grief and pain, but you are able to keep functioning.  In order to do this we need to build up our emotional health with what I am going to call our "Resilience Lamp".  An oil lamp will continue to give off light (function) as long as there is oil in the storage portion of it.  If we add to our resilience storage on a regular basis, it is there when we need it and we can still function when hard times or adversity hits.

A Few Ways to Fill your Resilience Storage

Get Your Sleep
Sleep is vital for our overall health and functioning. Getting adequate sleep helps your mood, thinking ability, productive and so much more.  Find ways to get your sleep.

Exercise
Exercise is not only good for you physically, but mentally too. Those endorphins are great mood enhancers.  Exercise is proven to boost concentration, memory, reasoning, better sleep to name a few.

Practice Gratitude
Emotional benefits of gratitude include, well being, life satisfaction, connection as well as many others. It is important to intentionally cultivate an awareness of gratitude in our everyday lives..  Keep a gratitude journal, make a habit of finding things each day that you are grateful for.  Practice saying "Thank You"  It is has been proven that the person you thank is more likely to continue it on causing a ripple effect.

Self Compassion
Show yourself some love. Give yourself the same kindness and care that you would give a good friend. 

Build a Support Team
Be social and make friends. Having people you can trust and confide in is important in building resilience. Plus the recipients of someone being sociable are more likely to engage in similar behaviors, thus spreading the social contagion and improving the mood and self esteem of all those involved.

Practice Mindfulness

Mindfulness is awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgementally, It is taking time to pause and breathe when the phone rings instead of running to answer it."- Jon Kabat-Zinn

Take time to ask yourself how you are feeling. Ponder on what it causing you to feel that way. Make adjustments if needed.
Focus on things you can control.

Provide Service
Serving others reduces stress, prevents feeling of isolation, increases confidence, ingnites passion, increases confidence and makes you happy. I guess these are the reasons that I've always come away from service gaining way more that I gave. 

Prayer

Prayer is surely the passport to spiritual power ~ Thomas S. Monson

It has been proven to give peace, sense of meaning, connection.  It has psychological effects on the body such as calming your cardiovascular system and reducing your stess. (Crystal Park PhD) Amazing things happen with prayer.

Have and Exercise Faith
“If ye have faith ye hope for things which are not seen, which are true” (Alma 32:21).  

Faith is the glue that keeps us holding on it.  It breeds abundance, gives you strength, it helps you find purpose in life and acts as a pathway to finding solutions  It has also been proven to fight stress, anxiety and fear.  One of my favorite quotes is, "Replace Fear with Faith".  Practice having faith on a regular basis. Learn how to listen and act on promptings.  

Each time we do one of these items we are adding to our resilience storage. Ready to use when we need it.  Your light will be able to keep functioning during trials. Your light will have the power needed to keep you going.

 After the race finish that day, as I was cleaning the mud off of the scrapes on my daughter’s back. I asked her how she was able to get up so quickly her response was, "I wasn't gonna let that girl that passed me when I fell beat me”. When adversity or hard times arise, just as that day of my daughter's fall we can be follow her example.  She had been practicing and doing the things she needed to do for that race. She was not only prepared physically, but mentally also. If we focus on filling our resilience storage on a daily basis, we will be prepared to be able to bounce back up because we will have emotional health reserves in the storage of our lamps.   It is time to check that resilience storage level..

xoxo

Tiffanee

*Disclosure I started this post back in the fall of 2019.  As many of my ideas it did not seem to flow so I let it be. Suddenly this past week the thoughts keep coming and perhaps it was meant to flow at this particular time.