Breaking the Filter Addiction

       Media has always portrayed people as beautiful and flawless. Now there are apps and filters that give everyone access to that “flawless” look instantly.  It appears to be the new social media norm. It is so easy to get caught up in it, because in this day and age of the social media craze there are pictures of what we are "supposed" to look like constantly staring us in the face
      Recently, I was curious and did some testing to see what responses I would get with filtered versus untouched pictures.  I am sure you can guess which pictures got the responses and which ones did not.  It was also interesting the quickness of the response time.  I tried to resist the urge to use the filtered one as my profile picture,but I failed.  Curiosity got to me, but only for a very short time and the overwhelming response was a bit shocking. Within 24 hours it became my most popular profile picture that only includes me in it (add my kids and the average goes up), after a week it had double the likes and 8x more comments than the unfiltered one posted just after it.

     Filters for pictures are so much fun. Truth be told they do make you look better and can give you an instant boost of self esteem.  They hide the wrinkles, zits, and other flaws. I will admit in the past I was addicted and found myself in the trap of the so called "social beauty standards". I began comparing myself to others and it left me feeling like I could never measure up.. I would spend so much time filtering, editing, adjusting pictures of myself before I would post on any social media platform or sometimes before I would even send them to anyone. I even took it so far one time to stretch my head so that my face looked thinner. It didn't take long for me to realize I did not like the way this was making me feel and if I kept it up I was on a fast road to self destruction  I pulled myself off of social media for a bit and put my focus on liking me.
     In the recent months I have heard several people say that when they meet people in person they look nothing like they do in their pictures and something just clicked....I wanted to be recognized, because in real life I look the same way as I do in pictures and be proud of that fact.

      Filters are still fun, but don't let it become your reality, remember it is better to be just you... Real - with wrinkles, zits and all the other flaws. To quote a friend of mine "Authenticity, is the most attractive quality of all." The important thing is you need to love yourself for who you are!  Don't compare yourself to others.

"No one is YOU and that is your SUPER POWER!"

and my favorite

"Self Love is the greatest middle finger of all time."

     Self esteem is something I still struggle with, but will admit I have come along ways. My goal is to look myself in the mirror and like what I see, not dislike what I am not. I have learned how to acknowledge the beauty in others, while trusting in my own.  Everyone is unique and beautiful in their own way and we need to learn to embrace that fact. Build upon it and not tear it down. It starts with each of us individually.
     This doesn't mean I won't play around with filters once in awhile, but I have found a new addiction to when I am having a bit of a self esteem issue..colored lip gloss, the more shiny the better and it seems to do the trick! 

Remember each and every day that you are beautiful just the way you are no filters or media standards are needed.
Love yourself, be real and be YOU!!

As I told a group of women last week during my presentation:

"Always remember, you are amazing..Realize how good you really are!"

I promise to take my own advice too.

XOXO

Tiffanee

Just Dance

     When I was a child there was an elite dance/drill team in my town.  It was full of all the really cool girls, but unfortunately had an age limit and I had missed it by one year.  When my sister was about 4 years old the director approached my mom and asked if my sister could be one of the banner carriers, because she was so cute.  My sister was adorable and this led in to her joining the younger team and eventually participating in dance competitions. She was incredibly talented, won big trophies, crowns and was really fun to watch.  I was so proud of her.

     I attended almost all the events and sat on the bench taking it all in wanting so badly to be a part of it, but knew it was not possible. I did however, find out that you did not need to part of a team to join the competitions and made it my dream.  I would spend hours and hours in my room choreographing dance routines that I could perform in front of judges.  The only problem with this dream...I never told anyone.  I was to scared to ask.
   

There is this simple rule in life: 

If you do not ask the answer will always be no.

Throughout my life I have missed out on a lot of things that I have wanted to do because I was scared to ask.  I then would be bummed and disappointed. In the last year I have learned a few valuable lessons in regarding to asking for what you want:

1. It is normal to be scared to ask for what you want.  Do it anyway.  Face that fear, because there is nothing worse than looking back with regret and disappointment because you never even tried.
2. You may ask for something and the answer may be a big fat NO.  Remember it is OK. Asking for what you want will result in a lot of yeses too!! 
3. Getting told no doesn't mean you suck. Period. Done. Don't even go there. 
4. Realize how good you really are. You are worth it! Confidence is the key. It will not only help you get the yeses, but better handle the nos of life too.

My parents were always supportive of anything we wanted to do and I am sure if I had told them about this dream to dance they would of done everything in their power to help me make it happen.  Unfortunately, the time to ask that question is long gone, along with my coordination and the ability to really bust a move (my children will happily verify this information).  However, it does provide a good reminder to keep dancing and that if you never ask, you will never know or have the chance.. so JUST ASK!!

XOXO

Tiffanee

My sister is still dancing (more Zumba these days). She's beautiful inside and out.
She amazes me every single day!