What are You Hiding?

     Recently, I got sick and literally felt like death.  It was all I could just to move from one place to another.  I don’t remember the last time I was this sick.  After 2 days of suffering a friend convinced me to go see a doctor.  Of course just because it is who I am I showered and did my best to look presentable in public even though I felt awful.  The nurse called me back and we talked about my symptoms.  She said you know it’s sounding like the flu, but you don’t look bad enough to have it.  When in my mind it was all I could do to sit on that bench, not curl up in a ball on the floor and cry.
       How often do we meet people that appear to be just fine, when in reality they are facing battles on the inside?  It has been said that it’s not always the tears that measure the pain, sometimes it’s the smile we fake. Why do we hide our emotional pain or battles from others?  The motives are fear based.  We are afraid of looking weak or susceptible to others, think we are independent and can handle it all on our own.  Am I guilty of this...YES BIG TIME!  I tend to use the "fake it until you make it" philosophy.  It is however, not always the smartest move on my part.  Enlisting others to help you out is not weakness.  In fact is shows great courage and strength.  I had a friend call me out on it.  She said, you help me so it is only fair that I get to do the same for you and she is right. Letting your emotions and problems out is the healthy way to deal with it, but it is not EASY.  You need someone you trust, lots of courage to face your fears and strength to let those emotions out and deal with it all.  Not something you can be expected to conquer overnight.  It takes baby steps.
     Just like the nurse judged me from sight, I was obviously hiding it well because my test came back positive for Influenza A.  It is a good reminder that people are extremely good at hiding what is really going on inside.  Therefore it important to be little bit kinder to everyone you meet, because you probably don’t know the battles they are facing.  Most importantly, it is very crucial that we are kinder to ourselves because we know the things we are facing!

XOXO

Tiffanee