When Change Feels Like a Setback: Finding Strength in Life's Unexpected Detours

 

When I finalized my divorce, the agreement allowed me to remain in the home we had shared until my youngest daughter turned 18. After that, I was required to sell the house, split the proceeds, and find a new place to live.

At first, the idea of moving brought a surprising feeling: excitement. For the first time in years, I could go anywhere. Start fresh. Begin a new chapter. I was hopeful that this would be a good change.

But when the time came, the excitement quickly turned to fear. I still had two kids at home. I couldn’t just move anywhere—I had to stay in the area for their schools and stability. And I couldn’t make any decisions until the house sold, which took a couple of months. Once it did, I had just three weeks to find something.

We searched for houses, condos, townhomes—anything within my budget—but nothing seemed to work. As the days passed, panic crept in. We had nowhere to go, no family nearby to stay with, and no backup plan.

Eventually, we found a condo that checked the boxes. I prayed about it, and after a few days, I felt peace. My lender worked quickly, and my realtor convinced the owners to let us move in a few days early while we waited to close. I remember getting the keys, standing alone in that condo, and crying. It wasn’t where I hoped to be—but it was a start. I could do this.

But the closing day came and went. Then I got the call: the lender discovered some concerning issues with the condo, and the loan wouldn’t go through.

At the time, I felt crushed. I thought we were going to be homeless. Looking back now, I can see that was a blessing in disguise—but in the moment, I was terrified. Thankfully, we were allowed to stay in the condo a little longer, though we had to be ready to leave at a moment’s notice.

We kept searching, praying, hoping. Every time I asked, I felt the same answer: “Keep trying. You are not alone.” So I did.

We tried to rent an apartment. I didn’t make enough to qualify. Even when a manager found a potential workaround, we were ultimately denied due to income limits. Again, we were left with no options.

Then my realtor found a homeowner who was renovating a property and allowed us to live there temporarily. We moved in—again—with only the essentials, unsure how long she would let us stay.

This change I had once been excited about now felt like a never-ending trial. Every plan fell through. But I clung to the faith that God was with me.

Four months later, after countless setbacks, we pulled into the driveway of a small house. I looked around and asked my realtor, “Where even are we?” But the moment I stepped inside, I knew: This was it.

Everything fell into place quickly. We had a home. We weren’t homeless anymore.

That time in my life was one of the most stressful and faith-testing seasons I’ve ever experienced. But now, I can see how every step served a purpose. My work commute shrank from 1-2 hours to just 10 minutes. My kids were closer to school and college. We landed in a safe, quiet neighborhood. Blessings I never could have planned on my own.

Looking back, I realize that what felt like detours was actually the path. Each closed door, each sudden shift, was part of a bigger transformation—not just in my living situation, but in me. Change, I’ve learned, doesn’t always arrive with clarity or comfort. Sometimes it comes through uncertainty, disappointment, and being stretched in ways you never asked for.

But change also brings growth. It taught me resilience, deepened my faith, and reminded me that even when nothing feels secure, I can still move forward. I wouldn’t have chosen the struggle, but I wouldn’t trade the strength it gave me.

Sometimes, starting over doesn’t look like a fresh slate. Sometimes, it looks like standing in a home you never imagined, in a life you never planned, and realizing: this change—hard as it was—brought you exactly where you needed to be and perhaps the most incredible part is that you’re no longer the person who began the journey.

xoxo

Tiffanee

Finding Beauty in the Pieces

 A few days ago, I had one of those days—the kind that leaves you drained, defeated, and questioning everything. I came home feeling like a mess of shattered pieces, like something inside me had cracked wide open.

In an attempt to quiet my mind, I pulled out a couple of Lego boxes and spilled the contents onto the table. Pieces scattered everywhere—disjointed, confusing, chaotic. And for a moment, I just sat there, staring at them, seeing myself in the mess.

But then I started building. Slowly. Step by step. Piece by piece. And with each snap of a brick, something began to form—something with shape, with purpose, with beauty. When I was finished, I looked at the bouquet of Lego flowers I had built, now sitting gracefully on my table.

And I smiled. Because what once looked like a pile of nothing had turned into something beautiful.  

I have left this bouquet of flowers on my table to remind me that sometimes life can feel overwhelming like a jumble of broken pieces, but what we don’t realize is that each fragment is shaping something more beautiful than we ever imagined.     

XOXO

Tiffanee

Spread Sunshine Wherever You Go

Picture yourself lounging on your favorite beach, basking in the warmth of the sun as it kisses your face. You can’t help but feel that warmth seep into your body and soul, filling you with peace and joy.

That’s what my dad was like. He had an extraordinary way of entering a room and instantly shifting the energy, lifting the mood in the most beautiful way. He brought light wherever he went, filling every space with laughter, smiles, and happiness. It was almost like watching magic in action.

Lately, I’ve been reflecting on what made him this way. Sure, he had a remarkable personality, but there was something more.

1. He saw the best in everyone, always recognizing the good and the potential in people.

2. Not only did he see that potential, but he truly believed in you. His belief was so powerful, it made you believe in yourself, too. He was not just a great coach but your biggest cheerleader, always celebrating your progress.

3. He had a rare talent for offering tough feedback or guidance while still leaving you feeling confident, never even realizing that you’d just been corrected.

4. No matter the situation, he could find humor, and his laugh was so contagious, it filled everyone around him with joy.

5. He was always looking for ways to serve others, quietly stepping in to meet a need without expecting anything in return.

These are just a few of the qualities that made him so special, but the heart of it all was his deep love for others. You could feel it every time he entered a room—his genuine care and affection for people.

Having experienced that warmth so many times, I want to live up to his example. I want to spread that sunshine wherever I go, so others can feel the same warmth and love.

Though not a day goes by that I don’t miss his sunshine, I’m forever grateful for the priceless memories that bring that warmth back in an instant. I’m thankful for my mom, my siblings, my children, and grandchildren who carry on his legacy and continue to spread that light. Most of all, I’m thankful for the life he lived and the example he set, showing how to bring sunshine into the world every single day.

This picture was taken after my daughter ran in the State Cross Country Championship race. It was a cold day and yet in our minds we remember the sunshine that was present cheering her on. 

It is a great time to follow my dad's lead and spread sunshine where ever you go!

XOXO

Tiffanee

Unexpected Healing at 30,000 Feet

Monday morning, I boarded a flight for a big work training. The past couple of weeks had been rough, and I was mentally and emotionally drained. All I wanted was to put on my headphones, zone out, and maybe sleep the whole way there.

There was a man seated on the aisle and I had the window seat. As they announced the cabin doors were closing, I felt a small wave of relief—no one was in the middle seat. I’d have space, quiet, and no interruptions. I got my headphones out and started to settle in when, suddenly, a woman came rushing down the aisle and slid into the seat beside me.

Just then, the pilot came on the intercom. He shared that he was a seasoned pilot and knew someone near the back of the plane was afraid of flying. He reassured everyone that he would get us safely to our destination.

I turned to the woman next to me and said, “Wow, that was pretty cool.” That simple comment sparked a three-hour conversation that would leave a lasting impact on me. We laughed, we cried. She was a Lebanese woman, and though we came from very different worlds, we discovered so much in common—even down to our age.

As the plane began to descend, I gently squeezed her arm and told her she was an answer to my prayers.

She held my arm, lifted the cross necklace she wore to her lips, and softly said, “You were an answer to mine.”

In that sacred moment, the Spirit whispered to my heart, “I know this isn’t what you wanted, but it was exactly what you needed.”

That conversation filled my soul in a way I hadn’t even realized I was craving. It restored a piece of hope I thought I’d lost. As I stepped off that plane, I carried more than just my luggage—I carried a renewed sense of peace, connection, and perspective. That unexpected seatmate, that sacred moment, reminded me that sometimes the most meaningful answers come when we let go of our plans and trust the journey. I’m deeply grateful for a Heavenly Father who knows me personally—and gives me not just what I ask for, but what I truly need.

xoxo

Tiffanee

The Beauty of the Empty Tomb

Last fall I got on my hands and knees and crawled through a small opening into a cave.  The cave, though spacious once you got in was damp, cold, and the darkness almost consumed you.  It was a very cool experience, but the emptiness I felt while in there was real.  

This Easter season I’ve thought a lot about the tomb that they laid Jesus’s body in. Those friends that prepared and carefully carried his body there and made sure it was secured. I imagine the darkness, heaviness, grief  and emptiness they felt as they walked away from that tomb.  I understand Mary Magdalene visiting the tomb 3 days later wanting to care for the body and the shock and grief she felt only to find the tomb empty.  

That emptiness turned out to change life for all of us. That empty tomb, would mean that Jesus had conquered death and rose again. “He lives” and because of him we too will live again.  How beautiful and symbolic that empty tomb became. Death is not the end, because of him we will live again and the glorious thing of seeing our loved ones again.  

As I climbed out of the cave that day, I could see the sun was shining, everything around me was glorious and beautiful. I stood there with people that I love, the emptiness I had felt was gone . I imagine this is how the world suddenly looked to Mary Magdalene as Jesus appeared to her that first Easter Day.  It gives me new perspective on how beautiful that reunion with our loved ones will be.  

“ Because of Him, everyone will live again. If we follow Christ, we can find true happiness on earth and look forward to eternal joy in the life to come.”

I  know "He Lives"!

Enjoy, the beauty of the resurrection and sacrifice Jesus did for us not only this Easter, but each and every day.  

XOXO

Tiffanee 

When Christmas Looks Different

One recent morning, as I was out for a walk, I realized how different everything in my life looks and I will admit I have had a hard time finding "my Christmas spirit" this year.  There have been so many changes this past year and Christmas is one of them. This year it will look very different than those in recent years. Not only are we in a new home, but instead of a houseful of family it will just be two of us. I believe we have both been mourning that fact just a bit, and I have found myself strolling down memory lane.

There is the fall my brother had a blood infection that the doctors could not figure out.  He needed to have transfusions a couple times a week, with an hour drive each way.  I cannot imagine how scared my parents were of potentially losing this very sick little boy.  After an area wide fast, we received a miracle of healing that even the stumped the doctors. I am sure Christmas looked different for my parents that year.

 Or the year we lost everything in the Teton Dam Flood.  After months of being homeless we were living in a HUD singlewide trailer. Any time it got below freezing the inside walls would ice up (and in Southeastern Idaho that happens a lot) We were constantly sick. It was less than a pleasurable experience, especially for my mom.  I am sure that Christmas that year did not look anything like my parents pictured.

 After years of infertility, I had finally gotten pregnant only to find out just days before Christmas at a routine ultrasound that I might lose the baby and was placed on immediate bed rest. That Christmas looked different.

 The year that we lost my Dad, who's birthday happens to be on Christmas, rocked all of our worlds, and Christmas looks much different now.

My thoughts turn to Mary and Joseph, I am sure they did not picture Mary going into labor in Bethlehem, scrambling to find a place to deliver and being told there were no rooms over and over.  Mary probably never pictured having the baby in a stable, where she would lay him in a manager.  Fact is even that first Christmas looked different than planned, but it was miraculous and perfect.  It didn't matter what it all looked like what mattered is that it was full of love and centered around the birth of Jesus.    

Truth is our lives change, things happen that are out of our control, but what we learn from that first Christmas is that just because it doesn't look like we think it should does not mean that it won't be perfect.  As long as we keep the key element in focus, the true meaning of the season, the birth of our Savior Jesus Christ, Christmas will be perfect, no matter what it looks like because love will fill our hearts and souls.  I realize that is the key and how my parents got through those tough times, because as kids we saw nothing but magic each Christmas.

Now looking back even though those Christmases looked different, each one had its own miracles; my brother's miraculous healing, feeling the first kicks on Christmas day of that baby that they thought I would lose and that Christmas in the trailer we were all healthy with no snow fall that day.

Since my Dad passed away, each Christmas I still picture him sitting by the fireplace like he always did, making sure to build a big enough fire to roast us all, smiling and laughing as we opened gifts.  Those memories are miraculous and perhaps what has kept me going this season.  If I were to go to him about my Christmas woes this year, he would tell me "different  is good, to suck it up".  Then would turn and lead by his quiet example of making sure Christmas no matter how it looks for me or anyone else, was built around Jesus, family and love. 

I am getting to the age where Christmas will probably look different each coming year.  A fact I need to embrace, not mourn.  So this year I will remember different is good, enjoy the precious time with my daughter, sit by the fireplace until I am roasted out (in honor of my Dad), make a traditional Christmas breakfast, Facetime family and most importantly follow the quiet example of my dad.  If I do that no matter how different Christmas looks it is bound to perfect once again!

Wishing you all a very Merry and Magical Christmas, filled with love and light, no matter how it might look this year.

XOXO 

Tiffanee

Getting Unstuck

Being single, I have often felt "stuck".  I go to singles events, date and things don't go well. Then I get in my head and slide down that slope of my thoughts that I will never find anyone or maybe I am just not good enough, along with many others that creep in. Soon I've slid down that slippery slope to the point I am ready to never date or go to any events again. 

Just over 5 years ago, with only a few weeks of being single under my belt my kids and I decided we would make the 12 hour drive to Idaho to spend Christmas with family. My son would fly in from Utah spend a week at home and then we would all drive together. Due to the winter weather we decided to stop off in Montana for the night to see my brother and his family. The roads were a bit sketchy, but we made it to my brother's house and enjoyed a night with their family. We woke up the next morning which was Christmas Eve to find about 3 inches of new snow and more falling. We decided it was best if we head out. The driveway leading out had a pretty steep hill with a deep gully on both sides. To add to it there was a stop sign at the very top where you had to turn to get on to the main road. We struggled to get to the top and just as we stopped at the stop sign we slid back and off the road leaning on the steep incline of the gully. We all carefully got out and I ran back to ask my brother for help.  

Realizing we were on the top of a steep hill, my brother assessed the situation and decided the only way to get us out was to pull us backwards. Both my son and I were in the car, as my brother moved his truck the car instantly slid all the way down the gully and up against a barbed wire fence. It was a very scary couple of seconds, the only good thing about this fact was at least now we had all four tires on the ground. My brother hooked the chain up again started to pull and "pop" the chain broke. He fixed the chain and tried again, and we just continued to stay in the gully right against that fence. I had come to the realization that if we got unstuck, my fairly new car would be damaged and I would for sure need a new side mirror on the drivers side because of the fence. At that point, I was ok with that fact as I just did not want to be stuck anymore. Within just a few minutes snow started coming down harder and I was convinced we'd never get out without a tow truck, but my brother was not going to quit. He tried several different angles and after a few tries pulled us back up onto the road. In my mind it was a true miracle! We loaded everyone up, someone stood at the top of the hill watching for cars and my brother drove my car straight up the hill and onto the main road.  

No matter what we try and tell ourselves, being stuck is no fun and we miss out on opportunities. Had my brother quit trying to get my car out, fact is eventually the tow truck would of gotten there, but with the weather conditions and holiday, odds of us making it to our destination for Christmas would of been slim. We would of been "stuck" once again and missed out on the main purpose of the trip, so that the kids could have some normalcy in their lives at that tough time by spending Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. I think about all the opportunities and experiences I have missed out on because I felt stuck in my life.  

 As I have thought back on this experience I realized the same basic steps that were used that day to get my car unstuck can also work for when we feel stuck in life.  

•  Find courage: Step out of your comfort zone, try something new.
•  Assess your situation:  What can you do or change to make things better?
•  Make a plan and carry it out. 
•  Be willing to adjust that plan: If one thing doesn't work try something else.
•  Ask for help.  Let friends and family support and encourage you.
•  Accept the fact that you could get hurt, and be ok with it. Recognize those feelings for what they are and that it is part of life.
•  Keep trying.  Keep moving.  Don't give up.
• Use commitment to your goal move you.  Let it be scary at first.

My brother not only miraculously pulled my car out that day, he did it with the only damage being some minor scratches to the side mirror, more importantly he taught me a good life lesson that day on how to get unstuck in life.  

The night after I thought through this experience, with the encouragement of family and friends, I felt brave, pulled myself out of the gully, made a plan and attended a singles event. I will admit it was scary. No, I did not get any dates out of it, but I got quality time with incredible women, saw friends I hadn't seen in awhile and danced like no one was watching. In my book it was a win for multiple reasons. The main one being moving, no matter how slow it might be is much more fun than being stuck!

"Not everything that is faced can be changed,

but nothing can be changed until it is faced."

~James Baldwin

Face those fears, move forward, because you'll never know what could happen if you don't try!

XOXO

Tiffanee