Being single, I have often felt "stuck". I go to singles events, date and things don't go well. Then I get in my head and slide down that slope of my thoughts that I will never find anyone or maybe I am just not good enough, along with many others that creep in. Soon I've slid down that slippery slope to the point I am ready to never date or go to any events again.
Just over 5 years ago, with only a few weeks of being single under my belt my kids and I decided we would make the 12 hour drive to Idaho to spend Christmas with family. My son would fly in from Utah spend a week at home and then we would all drive together. Due to the winter weather we decided to stop off in Montana for the night to see my brother and his family. The roads were a bit sketchy, but we made it to my brother's house and enjoyed a night with their family. We woke up the next morning which was Christmas Eve to find about 3 inches of new snow and more falling. We decided it was best if we head out. The driveway leading out had a pretty steep hill with a deep gully on both sides. To add to it there was a stop sign at the very top where you had to turn to get on to the main road. We struggled to get to the top and just as we stopped at the stop sign we slid back and off the road leaning on the steep incline of the gully. We all carefully got out and I ran back to ask my brother for help.
Realizing we were on the top of a steep hill, my brother assessed the situation and decided the only way to get us out was to pull us backwards. Both my son and I were in the car, as my brother moved his truck the car instantly slid all the way down the gully and up against a barbed wire fence. It was a very scary couple of seconds, the only good thing about this fact was at least now we had all four tires on the ground. My brother hooked the chain up again started to pull and "pop" the chain broke. He fixed the chain and tried again, and we just continued to stay in the gully right against that fence. I had come to the realization that if we got unstuck, my fairly new car would be damaged and I would for sure need a new side mirror on the drivers side because of the fence. At that point, I was ok with that fact as I just did not want to be stuck anymore. Within just a few minutes snow started coming down harder and I was convinced we'd never get out without a tow truck, but my brother was not going to quit. He tried several different angles and after a few tries pulled us back up onto the road. In my mind it was a true miracle! We loaded everyone up, someone stood at the top of the hill watching for cars and my brother drove my car straight up the hill and onto the main road.
No matter what we try and tell ourselves, being stuck is no fun and we miss out on opportunities. Had my brother quit trying to get my car out, fact is eventually the tow truck would of gotten there, but with the weather conditions and holiday, odds of us making it to our destination for Christmas would of been slim. We would of been "stuck" once again and missed out on the main purpose of the trip, so that the kids could have some normalcy in their lives at that tough time by spending Christmas with Grandpa and Grandma. I think about all the opportunities and experiences I have missed out on because I felt stuck in my life.
As I have thought back on this experience I realized the same basic steps that were used that day to get my car unstuck can also work for when we feel stuck in life.
- Find courage: Step out of your comfort zone, try something new.
- Assess your situation: What can you do or change to make things better?
- Make a plan and carry it out.
- Be willing to adjust that plan: If one thing doesn't work try something else.
- Ask for help. Let friends and family support and encourage you.
- Accept the fact that you could get hurt, and be ok with it. Recognize those feelings for what they are and that it is part of life.
- Keep trying. Keep moving. Don't give up.
- Use commitment to your goal move you. Let it be scary at first.
